Dear Twooten,
I am so sorry for your loss. Having been through this myself ( twelve years ago and twice!) I completely understand what you are going through and how you feel. I am not at all surprised by the insensitivity of people. Sometimes people simply don't know how to react to this issue. My one is regret is that I don't have any photos of my babies to remember them by. Take care of yourself and I pray that God will be with you and comfort you as you grieve.
raquel1 Frequent Member
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Posts: 200
Location: Richmond, Texas
Birthday: Oct 15 Gallery Supporter Member
Posted:
Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:29 pm
Let me start by saying you have lifted me up, your testimony has blessed me inmensely and I thank you. I saw the precious picture and I saw your note, and my heart sank to a familiar and old depth, one that had been covered up and not dealt with. I also count my blessings now, a new child, a new blessing has come into my life. She doesn't take the place or makes me forget, but gives me a chance to teach her about how blessed we are in any circumstance, because He is always with us. All my love, Raquel.
4starcakes Regular Member
Joined: Mar 30, 2007
Posts: 190
Location: Corpus Christi, Texas
Birthday: Aug 15
Posted:
Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:33 pm
I too am very sorry for your loss. Your avatar is not only a beautiful picture of your baby but a beautiful picture of an ANGEL!!! GOD BLESS YOU!
mpence Newbie
Joined: Jun 25, 2007
Posts: 12
Posted:
Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:33 pm
I'm glad you have decided not to change your avatar. Your child is beautiful and you have every right to celebrate him. When I first saw your avatar, my heart broke for you. Now when I see it, I'm reminded of how blessed I am to have three healthy children.
DoniB Forum Addict
Joined: May 11, 2007
Posts: 723
Location: Lincolnton, NC
Birthday: Sep 30 Gallery Supporter Member
Posted:
Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:40 pm
Twooten,
I've written to you personally, but thought to share publicly as well.
I, for one, find it comforting. Not that your child died, and not that you've put the only picture you could of him on your favorite forum, where he can celebrate your joy of cake decorating with you. But because each time I see him and your ticker, I'm reminded that I'm not the only one who's gone through a horrible loss.
I've lost three babies, each one past the 4 1/2 month stage. It's a very long and painful story, but basically I lost each one after being able to feel it kick, after feeling it move, and after starting to dream. I finally had to have a hysterectomy to save my life, so there will be no babies for us now, unless we adopt. And you're lucky, very lucky, that you were able to take a picture, and hold him in your arms before returning him to God. I never had that chance, and indeed, mine were partially re-absorbed, so we didn't have ANYTHING tangible when it was over.
Miscarriage and still-birth is a very uncomfortable subject for some people, but I've noticed that the folks who object to it the most either don't have a maternal/paternal bone in their bodies, or they have never had to deal with such a loss personally. (A good friend of mine asked why I was so upset... it was, after all, just a clump of cells, right?)
Your loss is still very new, and you have every right to want your friends to know that you're grieving, even if you're doing so with a smile.
I used to have such a ticker, but when I went through the grieving process, I was able to let it go and move on. That was 5 years after my first loss.
You do what you have to, when and where you have to, in order to get through something like this. I, for one, am glad that you're willing to share your joy and pain publicly, so that others of us can be reminded that we're not alone, and be comforted by that sad fact.
I hope God continues to bless you and your family.
Sorry so long, but this one hit a major nerve.
NanaNut Newbie
Joined: Jan 27, 2007
Posts: 18
Posted:
Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:47 pm
I didn't even know this issue was going on, but I've read all the threads. Your picture is beautiful. Don't even ponder taking it down. You know only a mother who has been through what you have can truely understand your motivation and reasons. I would have done the same thing. When I was pregnant with my son, so were 4 other ladies that I worked with. We were all due within 10 days of each other, all boys except one. I had to have an early emergency c-section and thought I would be the first. My last night there I ran into some of my unpregnant co workers at work and they told me that my friend had lost the baby and had to give birth to her son. I was at a loss. They told me that for the past 3 days she would have the nurses bring the baby to her room just like if he had lived. It was so heartbreaking. I went to her room and through her grief she was so proud to show me her precious baby boy. Her love for him was no different than my love for my child. It was in that moment when I was in her room that I sort of understood her actions of wanting to spend time with him, to love on him, to have those moments to tenderly look at his precious face, and took take pictures with him. To others, they were acts of a deranged morbid mother in denial, but to me it just made sense. Don't ever let anyone tell you how to handle your grief, to love your son, or how to nurture his memory. I told my pastor about this the next week and his reply brought me to tears and touched my heart. He looked at me and simply said.... "The Lord's love for us is unphathomable....we can't begin to understand it....some children are so precious he just can't wait. His plan for them is instant paradise." We must keep the faith. The Lord is in control. Stay strong and you and your family will be in my families prayers. God bless you.
fondantgrl Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 11, 2007
Posts: 522
Location: Atlantis
Posted:
Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:48 pm
Yeah ! let's see them handle what you have been through. Let's see if they are as brave and strong of a person as you.. Or maybe it's just the mouth that is big and not the strength to go thru all this.
It's like slapping you on face after all you have been through. Hopefully they will experience much harder times than you. Let's see how they would feel about it. Please keep that photo and ignore those retards.
Last edited by fondantgrl on Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:52 pm; edited 1 time in total
I had not seen your avatar before and in fact I was just trying to figure out which one everyone was talking about. As I said in an earlier post I have not seen any avatars, tickers or signatures that I have felt were in any way inappropriate or disturbing.
Your avatar of your precious little angel was a beautiful tribute to him.
Bless you, your family and your darling new little guardian angel.
Love,
LuAnn
BCJean Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 12, 2007
Posts: 735
Location: California
Birthday: Apr 03
Posted:
Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:50 pm
I have never lost a child and can only imagine what it would be like. If you find comfort from the only photo you have of him, I can't imagine anyone trying to take that from you. You have my blessings. I am so happy you came on and shared this with us. Please don't be upset if a few viewed it wrong. I too will think of you each time I see your Avatar. I will think about how loved this child was and how strong and determined you are.
When I have a tough day and feel sorry for myself....then come on CC and see your Avatar, I am sure I will gain strength from it.
God Bless You.
NikkiDoc Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 25, 2006
Posts: 534
Location: North Carolina
Birthday: Mar 01 Gallery Supporter Member
Posted:
Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:53 pm
You have an amazing spirit! God bless you. I think things have turned around for the better here becaue of you. I didn't see your avatar before today and didn't know what was going on, but for what it's worth, I want to let you know that I support your decision. I must admit, it was hard to look at at first, simply because the first reaction is sadness to see a beautiful, innocent child lost. But mother's instinct said that you had chosen your avatar out of your love and pride for your child. But your attitude in this matter goes above and beyond that! Thank you for posting this thread.
no matter how much you disagree with posters in another thread, i don't think ANYONE deserves the pain to be wished back on them. not only do they not deserve it, but neither do the others that would be affected by that ripple.
Ironbaker Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Apr 25, 2005
Posts: 2043
Location: Atlanta, GA
Birthday: Oct 02
Posted:
Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:56 pm
I sent you a PM but still want to say again that your strength and grace are admirable. Memo said a lot of how I feel. I think some just really don't know how to process it. As real as it is, death is just uncomfortable for many people. I know for me it just brought about feelings of sadness for you and for him. I'm sorry it got to this point but at the same time believe you've helped so many in some way or another. You definitely reminded me of what's important in my own life and I thank you for that. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and the others who have been through similar losses.
no matter how much you disagree with posters in another thread, i don't think ANYONE deserves the pain to be wished back on them. not only do they not deserve it, but neither do the others that would be affected by that ripple.
ditto
GenGen Forum Addict
Joined: May 17, 2007
Posts: 758
Location: Northern Idaho
Birthday: Dec 16
Posted:
Sun Aug 03, 2008 10:01 pm
he is indeed a gorgeous child and one can just tell how much he was and is still loved. no one can fully understand what you've gone through but you Are among friends and will remain so (even though you and i dont' know one another much more then in passing) but as I always say.. you don't have to be blood, to be family.
Much love girl. give your little boy a big hug from me.
bobbi96 Newbie
Joined: Oct 13, 2007
Posts: 14
Posted:
Sun Aug 03, 2008 10:07 pm
I just wanted to agree with the others and commend you on your strength in sharing such a loss. I too have experienced the death of a child - your insight and acceptance after so little time has passed shows an incredible inner strength that is very admirable.
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Please keep that photo and ignore those retards. 
