Joined: Aug 02, 2006
Posts: 290
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posted:
Sun Jul 13, 2008 6:39 pm
So I just was a t a guest where I also provided the wedding cake. Bride and I are close friends at work. We talked extensively about the cake, she was very, very easy going about the whole thing.
So, I'm at the wedding and after dinner, they serve ICE CREAM! While my cake to serve 240 sits there!!!! I was furious (open bar, mind you...), finally at about 9 they cut the cake and put it on a corner table with no announcement. The actual cake served about 140 with kitchen cakes to serve the rest, they never even cut the kitchen cakes!
Is this normal? In the future, this will be the first question I ask when doing a wedding, will each serving be served or put in a shadowy corner to be forgotten? Not bitter, really.....
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Last edited by kymscakes on Sun Jul 13, 2008 7:05 pm; edited 3 times in total
indydebi Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Jul 07, 2006
Posts: 15098
Location: Indianapolis IN
Posted:
Sun Jul 13, 2008 6:55 pm
For some stupid reason, most wedding magz/advice columns will put out a sample itinerary that shows the cake cutting is done about 10 minutes before the bride and groom walk out the door. I will NEVER understand why some believe the cake-cutting should be the last thing done at a reception!
So ..... since I cut the cakes at my weddings, I suggest to the bride that they do the cake cutting "ceremony" soon after they arrive at the reception (Cut the cake then proceed immediately to the buffet table to "start the line" and open the buffet for the guests) and the reasons include:
1) This is one more thing that is out of the way.
2) you can sit back and enjoy your reception instead of trying to keep on top of where you're suppose to be next.
3) If you are paying your photographer by the hour, you could throw him into overtime if you delay the cake cutting.
4) once the cake cutting ceremony is done, then when your guests are done eating, the DESSERT that you've paid for can be cut and served to your guests at the end of their MEAL and not at the end of the NIGHT.
5) If you wait until the end of the evening, most of your guests will be gone and you'll have half of your cake still standing ... a waste of money.
6) If you wait until the end of the evening, then you are forcing me and my staff to sit around with our thumbs up our a$$, after the dinner dishes and equipment has been packed up and loaded in the van, and if you do that then I will be forced to add an add'l labor fee .... and you DON'T want to pay my labor fee for overtime cake cutting!
This is also on my FAQ page.
MichelleM77 Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Jul 06, 2005
Posts: 2998
Location: near Akron, Ohio
Birthday: Jun 01
Posted:
Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:35 pm
Oh my....our reception hall manager had to force me to cut it not long after we got there so they could cut it while we were eating dinner and then serve it right after. I wanted to wait cuz I didn't want to cut my cake first, but I see why that was good planning. We didn't have much left over. Actually, I don't remember taking any cake home except the anniversary tier (and they even gave us all the ribbon roses to take home that they removed while cutting, which my mom froze and assembled on a fresh anniversary cake that she baked for us, thought that was cute!).
indydebi Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Jul 07, 2006
Posts: 15098
Location: Indianapolis IN
Posted:
Mon Jul 14, 2008 4:36 am
MichelleM77 wrote:
I wanted to wait cuz I didn't want to cut my cake first,
Traditionally, the cutting of the cake is the first function done together by the new couple; it is the first "meal" shared by the new man and wife. So it's logical that the ceremony be done right away ... before dinner.
Plus, as I say on my website, to a lot of people, the cake IS the wedding. It's the only food designated as "wedding". You don't have wedding chicken, you don't have wedding salad, but you DO have wedding cake ... and the only place to get it is at a wedding.
For a bride and groom to put off and put off cutting the cake, until most of their guests have left (and therefore are not served any of the wedding cake) is inconsiderate.....because not all guests are 20-somethnings who are into partying all night. Many are older who want to go home ... many have small children (who get tired and the other guests WANT them to go home) .... many have sitters waiting for them at home.
Dessert should be served after the meal ... not after the festivities.
jess85 Junior Member
Joined: Jun 21, 2008
Posts: 84
Location: Western Australia
Birthday: Feb 09
Posted:
Mon Jul 14, 2008 4:42 am
i agree that the cake cutting should be done before the night gets on.
i was wondering though, because we usually send a little piece home with people, not actually eat it there, whether the bride is ordering it to serve as dessert (which in this case, i guess not) or ordering a coffee portion?
indydebi Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Jul 07, 2006
Posts: 15098
Location: Indianapolis IN
Posted:
Mon Jul 14, 2008 4:51 am
jess85 wrote:
i agree that the cake cutting should be done before the night gets on.
i was wondering though, because we usually send a little piece home with people, not actually eat it there, whether the bride is ordering it to serve as dessert (which in this case, i guess not) or ordering a coffee portion?
Traditions have evolved....here's some clips from my wedding-cake-history file:
"Cake historians say the [grooms cake] practice first came to the wedding party in the mid-19th century. About that time the bride's cake--for a long time a single-tier, dense fruitcake--had evolved into a stacked pound cake in the shape of a church steeple. But revelers still desired some of the old-style, rich, fruity cake. Enter: the Bridegroom's Cake. Each guest was given a slice of fruitcake in a box to take home. As the story goes, single women who slipped a slice under their pillow would have sweet dreams of a mate. Today, groom's cakes are baked and iced in the bridegroom's favorite flavors...A groom's cake is a have-to-have in the deep South."
---"A Cake of His Own," Washington Post, April 15, 1998 (p. E01)
"The grooms cake...The tradition of sending wedding guests home with a piece of second cake, called a "grooms cake," has its origins in early southern [U.S.] tradition. It is a tradition that almost disappeared by today is experiencing a revival of sorts. The modern-day groom's cake is often a chocolate cake, iced in chocolate, or baked in a shape, such as a football or a book, that reflects an interest of the groom. It is to be used as a second dessert, it is placed on a separate table from the wedding cake and cut and served by the wait staff. At a small, at-home wedding, it is placed on a separate table from the wedding cake and is served. Having a special groom's cake is a charming personal touch. Some couples ask to have the groom's cake packaged, festively wrapped and tied with a ribbon, in small boxes to send home with departing guests."
---Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, Peggy Post, 4th edition (p. 339)
"The tradition of the groom's cake dates from the mid-nineteenth century, when guests took home slices of a dark fruitcake that was not served at the wedding. Those who were unmarried would slip their slices under their pillow to encourage dreams about their future mate. Although this tradition has faded, it's still fun to serve a dark chocolate cake along with the white bride's cake."
---Colette's Wedding Cakes, Colette Peters (p. 23)
Iheartcake Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 31, 2006
Posts: 567
Location: Canada
Posted:
Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:04 am
Oh kymscakes I am so there with you! I just did my best friends wedding cake last weekend. We talked design, flavours, etc. quite a bit over the past few weeks. After the reception, halfway through the dance I finally went up to her and asked if she wanted the cake cut. She said sure, so I cut it up, placed pieces of cake on napkins.. Oh I'd say.. maybe 15 people had cake
Plus she's from out of town, so at the end of the night when we were getting ready to leave, I asked if she wanted to take any cake with her.. she said no. She was leaving for her honeymoon the next day so couldn't do anything with it. So I took it.. I wasn't leaving all my hard work to be thrown out. I ended up giving plates of cake away to everyone I know. Such a waste
loriemoms Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Nov 09, 2005
Posts: 2638
Birthday: Feb 12
Posted:
Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:06 am
A few months ago a good friend of ours got married and I gave them their wedding cake as a gift. It was at a major hotel, but I think the DJ pretty much ran the event. They had a sit down dinner with a wait staff, and I too was surprised how late into the evening the cake was served. After dinner, everyone was asking me if I was going to cut the cake (No, I was a guest, I am not cutting the cake) as everyone wanted a piece! There was a lot of dancing after dinner and drinking and by the time they got to the cake cutting, half the guests had left. They only cut the middle tier, and took the rest away. It was sad. I blame the DJ as he was suppose to get things rolling, but I would think the hotel would have wanted to get the cake served already! It was a learning experience for me as well because the cake was SERVED to each person by a waiter. (not cut up and put out for people to come take) All three tiers were different flavors, so only one flavor got served. I now warn brides who order multiple flavors to find out how they will be served, and if people will get choices of flavors, etc.
It was the first wedding I had been in a long time and I too always thought the couple came in, a toast was made, the cake was cut and then everyone sat down for dinner, or buffet, etc, and this gave the staff a chance to cut the cake, and serve it after dinner, AND gave more room on the dance floor etc!
There are also still a TON of weddings down here that are nothing but punch and cake with heavy hors d'oeuvres . Do they also wait hours before cutting the cake?
Homemade-Goodies Frequent Member
Joined: Mar 08, 2008
Posts: 430
Location: Purmerend, The Netherlands
Birthday: Oct 15
Posted:
Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:12 am
It's not just in US. We attended a close friend's wedding in Ireland last Spring, and oh my lord, it all went on & on....meal, speeches, speeches, (did I mention speeches?), dessert(huh?), intermission, CUTTING the cake w/photo ops, setting up the band/chit chatting with family & guests......we left before the cake was actually served - and that was around midnight!!!
I really wanted to try the cake, but needed to get back to sitter.
Why would you serve a dessert, when you have a wedding cake for 300 sitting there? I found the whole process odd.
ziggytarheel Frequent Member
Joined: Aug 26, 2007
Posts: 426
Posted:
Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:37 am
Years ago, we went to a wedding that was a good 12 hour drive for us. On Thanksgiving weekend. I ended up not feeling well at all and so we decided that as soon as they cut the cake, we would head back to the hotel to get some needed rest before heading home early the next morning.
They cut the cake at 2 a.m.
Seven courses, dancing between each course. And then the cake.
Traditionally of the non-sit down dinner weddings around here have the couple come in after pictures, cutting the cake just a few minutes after arriving at the reception. Although as everyone seems to feel the need to have a bigger and bigger reception these days, there are more and more "festivities" even at these receptions (a few dances, a slide show, etc.), so it is becoming more common for the bride and groom to be at the reception for long enough for people to being to leave before the cake is ever cut.
jess85 Junior Member
Joined: Jun 21, 2008
Posts: 84
Location: Western Australia
Birthday: Feb 09
Posted:
Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:42 am
i personally would not have cake as dessert. i would serve it with coffee/ and or send it home with people. thats pretty much still the trend over here on Oz. the main reason people serve it as dessert here is to reduce the catering cost of having a plated dessert.
christeena Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 19, 2006
Posts: 861
Location: IN
Birthday: Jun 08
Posted:
Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:52 am
I'm with Indy on this topic and after making the cake for my niece's wedding and waiting 2 HOURS for them to come to the reception site after the ceremony and get the ball rolling so many people were so disgusted at waiting for them that they left! The had so much cake left over because of the inconsideration they showed their guests. I now cut any wedding cake I make and I give the brides Indy's reason to cut the cake early in the evening and so far they all saw the sense it made and the guests got the cake the bride and groom paid for!!
The last wedding we went to, me and a friend were actually in line with all the little kids to get cake after the cutting .... We were ready to go for a while (not as young as I used to be, I guess), but wanted to try the cake. It wasn't worth the wait. (though I did get compliments on my cakes when I was on my way out saying goodbyes ... people asked if I did the cake and I had to say no. Their response was "I knew it!").
poshcakedesigns Frequent Member
Joined: Jan 15, 2008
Posts: 483
Posted:
Mon Jul 14, 2008 6:02 am
Some complain about the price of the cake and then serve them last after almost everyone has left and then the bride complains they bought to much cake..
MichelleM77 Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Jul 06, 2005
Posts: 2998
Location: near Akron, Ohio
Birthday: Jun 01
Posted:
Mon Jul 14, 2008 8:43 am
I would never spend that much money on anything and not "use" it! I'm glad my hall manager knew what she was doing because otherwise maybe it wouldn't have gotten cut til the end. I had no clue, was too busy with greeting my guests, etc.
It looks like catering/hall managers are the ones that need educated about when to cut the cake, not the bride and groom, though if they knew it needed to be done early, they could at least push the issue.
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