Joined: Feb 08, 2007
Posts: 2876
Location: Kerman, CA
Birthday: Nov 24
Posted:
Fri May 23, 2008 5:28 pm
alicegop wrote:
staceyboots wrote:
i would call your brother's MIL and find out what's going on due to the fact that she is the wedding planner...maybe she can communicate your concerns to the bride and convince the bride to a "last minute" cake (provided that she pays in full of course)!
GREAT ADVICE!
Roxanne, good advice too.... and I would totally do it, but I see the wedding planner at family events and she is a nice lady who was doing me a favor with the referral....... I'd rather do the cake for free than make her look bad I guess........ I'm calling you next time I have a crazy customer, you can slap me around a bit!
feel free to call anytime just dont give the crazy customers my number
alicegop Forum Addict
Joined: May 03, 2006
Posts: 984
Location: Fresno, CA
Birthday: Oct 06
Posted:
Fri May 23, 2008 5:49 pm
Okay, I called the wedding planner (AKA: bro's mother in law) and she let me know all the stress this lady is under. (oh, did I mention the bride is impossible to get a hold of email or phone...)
Anyway, she said she didn't think I would get stiffed. She works in the same building as the lady and says she will talk with her. I asked her to get a check from her, I HATE dealing with brides this close to the wedding. I want all the details worked out and not have to stress the bride (or myself).
Oh and BMIL (brothers mother in law) is going to get me the SAME ribbon that is for the flower bouquets and stuff (THANK GOODNESS) so that is definitely a big stress off of me!
Thanks everyone for letting me vent. I seriously want to tell the bride to take a long walk off a short pier..... but I'm going to have to trust BMIL on this one. She'll feel really bad I am sure if I don't get paid... so she'll probably give me some more referrals at least. But since the bride works with BMIL... the bride will probably not stiff me if she has to see BMIL everyday.
Pray this works out!
Money is not worth friendship, I'd rather lose money than have a strained relationship with BMIL. (Who by the way coordinated a baby shower I threw and it was FANTASTIC!)
SweetConfectionsChef Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 21, 2006
Posts: 986
Location: Texas
Posted:
Fri May 23, 2008 6:10 pm
This is absolutely a ridiculous situation! Her payment was due weeks ago and you're still acting like she is a customer! She broke her end of the deal when you weren't paid by the specified date...she's not a customer and she actually never was. I'm sorry but I wouldn't make ANYONE a cake and hope that I get paid... that is just insane! I don't know anyone who conducts business this way...atleast not anyone who wants to succeed and not get taken advantage of! If the wedding planner is a friend/family why in the heck would they expect you to do a wedding cake for FREE? Do you think the planner is working for free? Or hoping that she gets paid? Give me a break.
costumeczar Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 18, 2007
Posts: 641
Posted:
Fri May 23, 2008 6:43 pm
If you still plan on going through with this then insist on payment in cash or money order, no checks. And if the planner "doesn't think" that you'll get stiffed, SHE can pay you and get reimbursed for it, since she has that much faith in a person who can't seem to return phone calls or emails. Believe me, just because you work with someone and see them every day doesn't mean that they're going to pay you money that they owe you!
I think that we all understand the situation that you're in because the planner is a semi-relative, but come on...If a planner treated me like this then I wouldn't work with them anymore, let alone the bride. It's the planner's job to make sure the payments are taken care of, not to tell the vendors that she doesn't think they'll be stiffed!
indydebi Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Jul 07, 2006
Posts: 14285
Location: Indianapolis IN
Posted:
Fri May 23, 2008 6:52 pm
I agree with Antonia about dropping the part about "date no longer available". I am NEVER in favor of lying to a bride. I never tell them "someone else is calling for your date so I need yoru deposit" when no one else is calling; I never tell them I'm booked when I"m not, etc.
It's the one piece of advice the wedding magz and websites warn brides about that I agree with .... and when wedding vendors DO lie to a bride, then the myth and stereotype is perpetuated .... making it harder on the rest of us to convince brides that we are honest and ethical in our trade.
And dont' hold your breath about "...she works with the planner and has to see her everyday so I know I'll get paid" crap. Have you seen the thread where the CC'er was stiffed for a $150 cake by a co-worker??
Poor-a$$ people have poor-a$$ ways ... and this bride has all the signs. So she's under a lot of stress.... boo-hoo! So am I everytime I have to write a rent check for the shop, which I can't do when brides don't pay me!!!
Re-read homecook's post and do it. (insert my stern mom-look right here!)
I totally agree with everything cakesbycathy posted. I used to work with a planner who was very unorganized, unethical and had lots of complaints by her clients. Notice I used the word "USED" to work with her!
(oh, did I mention the bride is impossible to get a hold of email or phone...)
If she doesn't return phone calls or emails about HER WEDDING DETAILS, then this cake is not important to her. I couldn't be more serious about this.
Either 1) this bride has made alternate arrangements for a cake, or 2) she doesn't care, and she can go buy some lovely sheet cakes at Costco the morning of the wedding. I'm not kidding, their sheet cakes are very nice, and tasty too.
If your BMIL is a businesswoman, then she will understand that you cannot complete this arrangement. This is not a "favor" in any way, shape, or form. I know my MIL would never hook me up with a referral and expect me to do the cake on a hope and a prayer - that's just not the way we treat eachother.
The cake isn't important to the bride, so why should anyone else go through stress and inconvenience to make sure she has one?
Get it in writing from BMIL that SHE pays you when bride stiffs you.
You WILL get stiffed on this cake.
I really, seriously want to slap you up. Man, you are one naïve chickadee.
These people are abviously taking advantage of you, and no one can take advantage of you without your permission. Why are you letting them do this? *Hoping* that you'll get paid?
diane Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Jan 08, 2005
Posts: 2158
Location: travis a.f.b.
Birthday: Nov 23 Gallery Supporter Member
Posted:
Sat May 24, 2008 12:37 am
i saw an episode on ace of cakes where a lady's check for $2,000.00 bounced...yes...i said $2,000.00.
what did duff say...sorry, but i can no longer do your cake.
dodibug Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Jun 22, 2005
Posts: 3282
Location: FL
Birthday: Jan 31
Posted:
Sat May 24, 2008 4:08 am
If you are going to make cakes for money you have to start thinking like a business. You CAN NOT give away cake just to appease your brother's mil! People who don't deal with their vendors don't get the services of said vendors. You have a family. Is it worth giving away that much of your family time, hard work, sanity, and stress to give a complete stranger a wedding cake?
Why should you give this woman-a total stranger-a wedding cake!?!?! You will get stiffed on this one if you have to do all the chasing and if she is stressed now and not paying attention she is definitely not going to be paying attention to your or your need for payment on the day of the wedding!
A wedding cake (shoot, any cake for that matter!) is waaaay too much work to just hope you get paid. It won't happen! You need to have in writing WHAT this woman wants, WHAT she's going to pay for it and WHEN she's going to pay for it (cash) otherwise she hasn't fulfilled her part of the agreement, she gets no cake and you are stuck with the bill for cake supplies and your hard work and time out the window.
I don't mean to sound harsh but this type of thing happens too often and it's a pet peeve of mine! ((hugs))[/i]
flayvurdfun Moderator Espaņol
Joined: Feb 27, 2005
Posts: 3597
Location: Illinois
Everyone that I have ever heard (or people I know) of goes through the wedding planner for everything. What did she say (the Planner) about the cake NOT being paid for yet....cuz odds are that the Planner will look bad if there is no cake for her. Good Luck! Hope you get something!
homecook Forum Fanatic
Joined: May 11, 2006
Posts: 1496
Location: At my desk, in the garden, or in the kitchen
Posted:
Sat May 24, 2008 9:42 am
I'll just pop in one more and say if the bride is hard to reach and the planner is doing her job and staying in touch with the bride, then you *could* tell the planner that if the cake's not paid for by Tuesday (or whatever date), in cash (if you don't have time for a check to clear before you start baking), that there will be no cake. I can pretty much guarantee you'll get an answer, and probably a payment, right away.
Like someone said, if she hasn't paid you, hasn't been in touch much (boo hoo--stressed out? come ON), then she is NOT A CUSTOMER. You aren't breaking a deal, she never MADE one, and the planner will, and should, look bad if she can't manage a wedding cake transaction to go along with a wedding. But I wouldn't make a cake based on someone saying "I'm sure they're good for it." been there, done that... (Sorry, but this is another why I don't work with family.)
And to support my "I no longer have your date available" statement--she is NOT a customer, she hasn't paid you, she doesn't own that date, you've been free to give it out on any date since the due date passed without her payment. Plus, I find it easier to say that than to say "Sorry, but I won't be doing your cake because you didn't pay me, so I'll be swinging in the hammock that day". I'd rather just smoothly say I'm busy. Not "having her date available" could MEAN I'm swinging in the hammock, but at least she's not going to feel like I'm sipping margaritas when I could have been saving her all this stress by making her cake.
Promise. If you tell them no payment, no cake--you'll get a quick response. If you let it hang until the last minute, so will they.
rmelendrez Regular Member
Joined: Oct 17, 2007
Posts: 105
Location: CA
Posted:
Sat May 24, 2008 10:02 am
cakesbycathy wrote:
You're going to do the cake and HOPE you get paid?!?!?
Warning: the following is very harsh!
If you go ahead and do the wedding cake, please do not come back here and complain about how you made yourself crazy to make a beautiful cake and then didn't get paid for it. You will have no one to blame but yourself.
Do not worry about making your brother's MIL look bad. A good wedding planner stays on top of their brides and makes sure details (like the cake) get taken care of.
Please tell this bride to either show up with the full payment in cash tomorrow or tell her there will be NO cake. You can do it
DOUBLE DITTO... and "COMMUNICATE" the situation to the Wedding Planner ASAP via phone and then follow-up with a brief, but friendly email. The email is just to BYA!
I agree with everyone else! You are not going to get paid. This bride is too busy to deal with the cake? What is she busy doing? Most everything else should be taken care of at this point (including the cake!). I say nip it in the bud, save yourself the stress, and focus on the end of the school year! If you already have ingredients and stuff, make a cool cake for the school staff or something. Good luck. I wish you the best.
sweetneice Frequent Member
Joined: Dec 13, 2007
Posts: 286
Posted:
Sat May 24, 2008 10:10 am
I had a lady do the same thing to me 2wks ago, saying I definitely want you to do the cake. Her wedding was less than 4weeks away. I told her that in order to reserve me, I would need a deposit today, and the rest paid in full the following week. My motto: No deposit.....No cake
No full payment....No cake
No contact......No cake
& finally.......Undependable Bride with No clue.........No cake! Lol! Happy Baking!
mbelgard Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Oct 10, 2005
Posts: 2746
Posted:
Sat May 24, 2008 11:05 am
alicegop wrote:
Money is not worth friendship, I'd rather lose money than have a strained relationship with BMIL. (Who by the way coordinated a baby shower I threw and it was FANTASTIC!)
If the friendship gets strained over you refusing to do a cake without payment upfront than it wasn't that much of a friendship. And if that happens you should walk away from it knowing that the planner is something that rhymes with witch.
Do you think the bridal shop is letting them do this with the gown? Or the florist? I can't imagine either getting supplies for it just because the planner tells them she's sure they won't get stiffed so why should you make the cake based on that?
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